


Two Blondes and a Dude

by april_zephyr (April_Zephyr)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Laura Hale, Alternate Universe - Bikers, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Biker slang, Derek is a Tease, F/M, I need a smut yoda, Jackson/Erica/Stiles are bros, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, No Sex, Sheriff Stilinski fixes everything, Stiles and Derek like sex, Then you'll have an amazing sex scene, i can't write smut, lots of swearing, mentions of cunnilingus, someone teach me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:04:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_Zephyr/pseuds/april_zephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a typical summers day, the sun was unbearably hot and Beacon Hills was going through one of it’s many heat waves. Stiles didn’t really care about being covered in grease as it was pretty much unavoidable. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand in hopes of getting rid of the sweat that was collecting and threatening to slide down his face. He grinned brightly as he finally repaired the broken parts of his bike.<br/>“So I see the bike’s coming along.” Sheriff Stilinski stated, noticing the bright look on his son’s face.</p><p>“It’s finished, I’ve replaced all the old parts and now my baby’s ready to be ridden.” Stiles grinned. He knew that his father wasn’t exactly a fan of his motorbike and had a fear that Stiles would get into an awful accident one day.</p><p>“The amount of innuendos I could create with that.” Sheriff Stilinski snorted.</p><p>“It’s going to take a lot more than that to ruin the moment.”</p><p>“Stiles. Do I need to remind you that you’re not hispanic?”</p><p>“I am perfectly aware of my race vato.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Blondes and a Dude

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I know I haven't posted in a while. But I've been incredibly busy with school work.
> 
> This is a pretty crappy fic. But I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still alive and I hope to get back into posting more fics. And to any smut/lemon writers, please give me some tips on how you do it.
> 
>  **Biker Slang** (These words are probably used very incorrectly and might not even exist, but let's just roll with it)
> 
> Heat - The Police
> 
> Nomad - Member of a motorcycle club, but not attached to any particular chapter. Bottom rocker of patch will read "Nomad." A Nomad member will usually pay dues to, and come under the jurisdiction of, the mother chapter. They might be sent to an area to start a new chapter, or to investigate another club that wishes to become a support club, or one that wants to patch over. Sometimes a Nomad will be an enforcer.
> 
> Hardbelly - A young girl with a flat, tight tummy.

** Chapter 1 **

It was a typical summers day, the sun was unbearably hot and Beacon Hills was going through one of it’s many heat waves. Stiles didn’t really care about being covered in grease as it was pretty much unavoidable. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand in hopes of getting rid of the sweat that was collecting and threatening to slide down his face. He grinned brightly as he finally repaired the broken parts of his bike.  
“So I see the bike’s coming along.” Sheriff Stilinski stated, noticing the bright look on his son’s face.

“It’s finished, I’ve replaced all the old parts and now my baby’s ready to be ridden.” Stiles grinned. He knew that his father wasn’t exactly a fan of his motorbike and had a fear that Stiles would get into an awful accident one day.

“The amount of innuendos I could create with that.” Sheriff Stilinski snorted.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to ruin the moment.”

“Stiles. Do I need to remind you that you’re not Hispanic?”

“I am perfectly aware of my race Vato.”

“So I’m not going to have to deal with any more incidents with you using Hispanic slang incorrectly.” Sheriff Stilinski asked, “I don’t know where you got the idea that google was a reliable source.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be going to work?” Stiles smirked, “Doesn’t the heat usually drive people crazy?”

“Yep, it has an effect similar to a full moon.”

“Damn. I wonder why certain things drive a person mad.”

“Language.” Sheriff Stilinski sighed, “I’ll most likely see you tomorrow, do behave. I perfectly understand how one could be driven to insanity.”

“What do you take me for?”

“A kid with ADHD that has this knack for getting into trouble.”

“I love you too dad.” Stiles laughed, patting his father’s back.

“Love you too kid.”

He sighed in the mirror, after finishing with the bike he decided that it was time for another shower. His outfit usually consisted of a worn down leather jacket and neutral coloured v-neck, but because of the current Heatwave he resorted to wearing a sleeveless dark red hoodie, a white wife beater and a pair of black Levis.  
“What the hell are you wearing?” Jackson sighed, entering his room.

“What does it look like I’m wearing?”

“Layers. Far too many layers for a heat wave.” Jackson whined, rubbing his face against the crook of Stiles’ neck. One thing Stiles never understood was why Jackson never stayed at his own house during heat waves because his A.C was amazing.

“I was right. The heat does make people crazy.” Stiles groaned, shoving the male away from him. Jackson frowned, instantly moving to lie down on his bed.

“It’s hot.”

“If you really need to take a shower.” Stiles sighed, nodding his head to where the bathroom is.

“Thanks dude.”

“And please put a shirt on when you’re done. I don’t want my house looking like a scene out of a porno.”

“Stiles.” Another voice whined, dragging herself to his room. Erica looked completely exhausted, her blonde locks were plastered to her face and just noticing her drag her feet towards him made him want to walk over to her instead.

“Is everyone coming to my house?” Stiles asked curiously as Erica attached herself to his body and cried pitifully.

“Why’s it so hot? I can’t deal with this.” Erica sobbed.

“I don’t think hugging me helps.” Stiles laughed, rubbing her back soothingly.

“Is Jackson here yet?” Erica questioned curiously.

“Is there something that the two of you are keeping from me?” Stiles sighed, he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that the two blondes were doing something he wasn’t aware of and he sure as hell hoped they weren’t banging.

“You remember that gang that came from New York?” 

“What about them?” Stiles frowned, of course he remembered them. The group thought that they could suddenly charge into their city and take ownership of their turf.

“Well the leader wants to see you.”

“And why would she want to do that?” Stiles asked, genuinely curious. The last time he saw Laura Hale, she had threatened to anally rape him with a cactus.

“He wants to make an alliance.”

“Have you been talking to them? I thought the leader was that Laura chick.”

“Well, Jackson’s dating the redhead and Laura is the leader, but her younger brother is the second in command.”

“Are you freaking kidding me right now? How long have they been dating?”

“We’ve been dating for a few weeks. But Erica here is dating the really anti-social looking one.” Jackson argued weakly.

“God. You guys couldn’t tell me this? I thought we were close guys.” Stiles frowned, at least they weren’t banging each other like he originally thought they were.

“Well, we didn’t want you to think that we were leaving you after what Scott did.” Erica stated. Scott was a really sore topic for everyone. Stiles had no idea when everything went wrong.

“Scott didn’t do anything wrong.” Stiles said, defending his childhood friend.

“Scott does no wrong. When the hell are you going to stop kissing his ass?” Jackson growled.

“I have to agree with Jackson. I mean the guy did throw us to the dogs.” Erica agreed. Yeah, Stiles knew that Scott should have given them a heads first before he did anything. There was a reason he was very suspicious of people not telling him everything, he didn’t want another fuck up.

“Guys, chill. He technically didn’t break the code and everything’s cool now. No more **heat.”**

“But there was **_heat_**. Lots of it.” Jackson emphasised.

“Well, he’s a **_nomad_** now anyway.” Stiles continued, “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“ _Nomad_ my ass. He’s probably joined that corrupt group. Did you see his interactions with the **_hardbelly_**? They were practically having eye sex.” Erica hissed. Oh, how Stiles wished that his blondes wouldn’t continue to hold a grudge against his childhood friend. You can’t exactly blame a guy for falling in love.

“Okay. So where does this guy want us to meet?” Stiles groaned, he never liked it when they brought Scott into the conversation because it was never a good thing and everyone ended up getting more frustrated by the whole situation.

“He wants us to head to Jungle.” Jackson answered, cringing slightly of the idea of having to go to Jungle again.

“Isn’t that a gay club?” Stiles snorted.

“Stilinski, we know you’re flexible.” Erica giggled.

“I’m not complaining. But are you telling me that he swings for the same team?” Stiles asked curiously. The Hales were are an attractive bunch and Stiles sure as hell wouldn’t mind if he had a chance with one. And he was hoping the Hales weren’t all the same, considering the guy he was kind of currently seeing had this whole serial killer look to him and he was presently in his bad books.

“How the hell am I supposed to know?” Jackson groaned.

“Danny?” Stiles grinned.

“Don’t bring Danny into this.” Jackson frowned.

“Sorry bro. But he’s your best friend.”

“Well, sorry to burst your bubble don’t I really don’t care about sexualities. The second in command is definitely your type. But let’s not forget you’re still kind of banging that other guy.”

“You met the guy?” Stiles frowned, “Yes. I am very aware that I am in a sexual relationship with someone.”

“I feel like I’m digging myself into a deeper hole.” Jackson noted.

“We had to meet him. He’s protective of his members.” Erica defended.

“How am I supposed to meet him if I can’t wear my jacket.” Stiles asked, his leather jacket was his signature of being in a biker gang. It had all his accomplishments.

“You don’t need to wear your jacket. Do you really want him to know that you preformed cunnilingus in front of a crowd?” Jackson snorted.

“What’s wrong with that?” Stiles laughed, he wasn’t embarrassed. He just happens to be really good at oral.

“Everything.” Erica groaned, trying to hide her face between her hands.

“Really? Because a certain blonde said that I was good at it.” Stiles grinned at her, pulling at her arms in hopes to see her blush.

“How the hell are the two of you still friends?” Jackson groaned.

“Jackson. Going down on someone doesn’t ruin friendships.” Stiles stated in a serious tone.

“Well, you clearly don’t understand the notion of friendships.” Jackson snorted.

“Maybe you should try it on Danny, let the guy wreck your throat. I’ve heard you don’t have that much of a gag reflex.” Stiles suggested.

“So I’m guessing you went down on Scott too?” Jackson teased.

“Dude! That’s messed up. Scott’s my brother.” Stiles whined. The image of the whole thing was really grossing him out, he just doesn’t see Scott in a sexual manner at all. The guy’s like a puppy.

“Jackson, can we stop this already and go to Jungle to get wasted and shit.” Erica laughed.

“Sure, whatever. You better not wear your leather jacket.” Jackson stated, looking at Stiles.

“Fine. I’m just going to go like this.” Stiles offered, he wasn’t really in the mood to change into something else. Like Jackson said earlier, it was too hot.

“No. You have to make an effort.” Erica sighed, “I’m going to help you look like sex.”

“I’m guessing you want me to be naked?” Stiles grinned toothily.

“Just shut up before I cut your mouth off.” Erica moaned.

“Fine.” Stiles snorted, he wouldn’t trade his two blondes for the world. Jackson and Erica may have been the main cause of most of their disputes, but he loved them to death.

Stiles groaned miserably as Erica threw multiple shirts and pants on his bed. The young adult didn’t really like the idea of having to a do a clean up, which was exactly what he was going to have to after Erica was done trashing his room.  
“Do you even own any decent shit?” Erica growled, snapping Stiles out of his thought.

“What’s wrong with my shit?”

“You dress like a nerd.” Jackson stated, “I think it’d be better if we found an outfit at my place. Stiles doesn’t have style.”

“I agree with you there.” Erica sighed, “It’s such a shame that such a smart, pretty boy doesn’t even know how to accentuate his body with the right style of clothing.”

“Hey. You’re talking about my high school wardrobe. I’ll have you know that my style’s pretty damn sexy now.” The brunette grinned, throwing a playful wink at the blondes.

“Hah. Yeah. You totally copied Derek.” Erica cackled.

“You just said he who shall not be named’s name.” Stiles frowned. They had agreed the other day that they wouldn’t mention the guy’s name because he was still a pretty sore subject with Stiles. The young adult loved that he was having sex with the guy, but Stiles just wanted something more with Derek and it saddened him that it wasn’t likely to happen.

“Fucking hell Stiles. Can you get through a conversation without referencing pop culture?” Jackson groaned, “You’re turning us all into weird nerds.”

“To be honest, I think we were all nerds before Stiles dragged us into the picture. We’re just more nerdy now.” Erica laughed.

“Okay. You guys need to stop making fun of me and actually do something about my lack of wardrobe.” Stiles moaned.

“Fine.”

The drive to Jackson’s place was refreshing, Stiles had finally been able to take his new bike for a spin. Erica being the girl she was, decided that it would be better to ride with Stiles for the rest of the day to give him an image boost. The young biker didn’t think that it was that big of a deal, he could girls on the back of his bike easily if he tried.

When they finally reached Jackson’s place, the male blonde dragged the two of them to his room and picked out a deep red button up shirt and fitted pants.  
“Are you trying to impress the guy or are you trying to make him jump my bones?” Stiles asked curiously as he stared at his ass. It looked pretty damn amazing.

“It wouldn’t hurt to get laid every once in awhile. I thought you weren’t into the whole celibacy thing.” Erica smiled, “But damn your ass looks amazing in those pants.”

“Why the hell have neither of you ever complimented my ass?” Jackson frowned.

“I guess it’s because I never really get to see Stiles’ ass. He always wears those really bad fitted jeans that make his ass look like it’s sagging.” Erica stated.

“Hey! My pants aren’t that bad you know.” Stiles laughed, “It’s not like you see me going around getting my pants professionally fitted. I’m too broke for that shit.”

“Maybe you should try to get your hands on a wealthy partner.” Erica laughed, “Then you’d actually look decent most of the time.”

“Why do I need to get a wealthy partner when I have Jackie here.” Stiles grinned, wrapping an arm around the male blonde.

“Get your damn arm off me and never call me Jackie ever again.” Jackson fumed. The male blonde never liked it when people gave him nicknames. It was either Jackson or nothing at all.

“It’s such a cute name…” Stiles teases, poking Jackson’s cheek.

“Fuck you.” Jackson growled, pushing Stiles’ hands away from his face.

“I think we should head to the club now and get Stiles laid.” Erica noted, looking at her nails in interest.

“Really. I thought you were going to take me to make a group alliance with the Hale group since you guys can’t seem to date normal people.” Stiles joked, “And you guys know that I am getting plenty of action already.”

“We are dating perfectly normal people.” Jackson sighed.

“Yes. And they just so happen to be in a biker gang.” Stiles laughed.

Jungle was busy, the club was always crowded and Stiles wasn’t surprised. This seemed to be one of the main clubs in Beacon Hills. This was also the club where Stiles got laid for the first time. Jungle would always have a special place in his heart. His first sexual experience was awful, but at the time he was glad to have finally lost his V-Card.  
“Okay. So that’s the guy you’re going to talk to.” Erica told Stiles, pointing directly at the bar.

“Oh hell no. You guys set me up.” Stiles frowned, making his way to the bar.

“We told you that you were going to be meeting Laura’s brother.” Jackson snorted.

“Yes. I thought you meant the other one.”

“He has another brother?” Erica asked curiously.

“I don’t know. There are a lot of Hales.” Stiles frowned.

“I suggest we stop talking about this now.” Jackson stated, as they finally reached the other male. Stiles angrily sat next to him while Jackson and Erica disappeared to another part of the bar. This was one of the many times that he doubted their loyalty because friends sure as hell wouldn’t drag friends into situations like these.

“I see you’re doing well.” Derek grinned.

“I don’t know. I was thinking that I’d feel a lot better if you got out of my fucking face Miguel.” Stiles growled.

“You were the one that came to me Stiles.”

“Yeah. Because my stupid friends don’t understand the term off limits.” Stiles sighed, “You’d think they’d know to stay away from your group.”

“Like you did?”

“Exactly. Did you see where that got me?” Stiles snorted, “No where really that great.”

“What happened to being in love with me?” Derek asked curiously, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.

“Well, I never exactly said that I was in love with you.” Stiles sighed, “You’re putting words into my mouth Hale.”

“And how long do you intend to avoid me Stilinski?” Derek breathed, sliding his hand from Stiles’ ear to the base of his neck.

“Until the day I’m six feet under.” Stiles stated, trying his hardest to ignore the very warm hand that was touching him almost lovingly.

“A bit morbid, don’t you think?” Derek smiled, deciding to move his hand further up to Stiles’ face.

“You make me morbid.” Stiles hissed, as the hand rested on his cheek.

“Really. I’m sure I made you into something entirely different, I distinctly remember a lot of ooh's and ah's being involved.” Derek teased, rubbing his thumb over Stiles’ lips.

“That was a long time ago.” The young adult argued weakly.

“I guess a day really is too long.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Narcism is never attractive.” Stiles grumbled.

“Oh? You seem to find it attractive during my bedroom visits.”

“Whatever happened to your brother. I think he stands a better chance with me than you.” Stiles asked miserably, he really didn’t want to talk about this right now.

“I never thought that you were the type to dig twelve year old boys.” Derek laughed.

“So I guess the other guy isn’t your brother. Really fashionable, blue eyes… Kinda has this whole villain, but hot look going on.” 

“You’re thinking of my uncle. I suggest you avoid him.” Derek frowned, the only expression he had shown thus far of him not liking something Stiles that had said.

“Your suggestions have never seemed to help me before.” Stiles taunted, the young biker knew that Derek’s uncle was bad news. That didn’t mean he couldn’t use him to his advantage to push Derek’s buttons.

“I can recollect numerous amount of times that my suggestions have helped you.”

“Let’s stop talking like we’re old friends and start to talk business.” Stiles stated, “I hope that you don’t intend to create this alliance in order to fuck me over again.”

“That isn’t a really nice way to talk to your lover.” Derek grinned, “This alliance is all my sister’s doing. If I really wanted to ‘fuck’ you over I could have easily done it earlier.”

“Let’s just talk about the rules to this alliance.” 

“We have a group meeting every weekend. Attendance is mandatory unless you’re dying.” Derek stated, “We help each other out when it comes to other gangs, but if you get involved with the cops we don’t know each other.”

“It’s good to know that you still don’t have the balls to own up to anything when it comes to the police force.”

“We’ll go over the rest of the rules at a later date.” Derek sighed, “Now. You’re going to tell me what the hell I did to get you so angry.”

“Gee. I don’t know Derek, maybe when ditched me to freaking deal with a group of six people by myself.”

“You know what Stiles. I’m done.” Derek groaned, “I like you, but I don’t want to have to continuously deal with you making everything into a big deal. I have done everything I can to try to get you to be happy. But I have clearly gotten nowhere. Maybe you’ll be a miserable man for the rest of your life. Your friends are going to leave you, just like Scott did.”

“You’re finally right about something.” Stiles laughed solemnly, “Everyone fucking leaves in the end. There won’t be anyone and I accept the fact that I’m going to be one of those grumpy men that have nothing.”

“Well, you’re wrong.” Derek stated, “You have these amazing friends that are loyal to you. The only thing that you’re doing wrong is that you push them away when they get too close. Just like you’re doing to me.”

“And what makes you think you’re on equal ground with them?”

“You can deny it all you want. But you’ve fallen in love with me and that scares you.” Derek voiced, “And tough luck Stilinski. I fucking love you too.”

“What good is love to a guy you can’t stand?”

“Maybe I should show you.” Derek smiled, “It took a while, but your father warmed up to me.”

“You’ve been hanging out with my father? Oh God. Please tell me that you didn’t say anything stupid.”

“I just told him that I love you.”

“You’re an idiot.” Stiles smiled, “Didn’t you just break up with me a few minutes ago?”

“Your father was the one that suggested that I should take a harsher route for you to finally confess to what you were feeling.” Derek grinned, “But I guess I’m going to fix that. Krzesislaw Stilinski, will you go to dinner with me sometime?”

“Of fuck! My Dad told you my birth name. And you actually pronounced it right.” Stiles swore, “Jesus. I should hate you, but that was pretty damn hot.”

“You can show me how much you hate me tonight, only if you let me take you to lunch tomorrow.”

“I’m glad that you haven’t decided to deny of sex.”

“Urgh. It’s good to see that you fixed whatever was going on.” Erica grinned, deciding to join the two at the bar, “But must the two of you only talk about sex?”

“Erica. The only reason that you’re complaining is that you don’t get laid enough.” Stiles teased.

“I get it good. And let’s not forget to mention that I get to experience multiple orgasms unlike you.” Erica laughed.

“This is going to be the first and only time I’m going to let you win.” Stiles snorted.

“Well the alliance has been made and I think it’s time I took Stiles home.” Derek interjected, “It was nice to see you again Erica.”

“Nice to see you too Derek.” Erica smiled, watching the older male lead Stiles out of the bar.

“I think we did a pretty good job.” Jackson stated, taking a seat next to her.

“Fuck off Jackson.” Erica grinned.

**FIN**


End file.
